


I'll Tear the World in Two

by Chelseadaggz



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Swan Queen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-27
Updated: 2014-09-26
Packaged: 2018-02-18 22:21:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2364149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chelseadaggz/pseuds/Chelseadaggz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“How am I supposed to live without you there? How am I supposed to carry on knowing I’m never going to see you again?” she cried, feeling Regina’s own tears trailing her face as they both leaned heavily into one another, “that I’ll never get to wake up beside you again?” her voice was softer now though her distress was no less, “that I’ll never get to hold you? Or kiss you?” she dropped her face a little to connect their lips in a wet embrace, her breath puffing against the older woman’s face in a broken sob. </p><p>“Because,” the brunette whimpered as she pulled back to look at her love, her palms encasing Emma’s cheeks, her thumbs wiping away tears that were simply replaced with more as emerald eyes opened, pleading and broken, “you’ll know no different my love.”  her smile was strained, full of despair as her head tilted slightly, “you won’t remember me.” </p><p>She pulled Regina into her once more with one arm around her back and another around her shoulders, a hand tucking the brunette’s head into the crook of her shoulder, a teary face pressed into her neck as she whispered softly “how could I ever forget you?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Tear the World in Two

**Their memories of the year in the Enchanted Forest haven’t been erased in this version.**

_“Regina please,” the words almost caught in her throat yet she got them out, had to get them out, “there has to be another way.”_

_The brunette’s head was shaking before Emma had even finished the sentence, her hands aching within the blonde’s tight grasp though she paid it no mind for it meant nothing in that moment, “there isn’t,” she looked to the boy standing beside his birth mother, the child she had raised from infancy, the tiny boy she had given all of her battered heart to. Her gloved hand moved to stroke across the skin of the face she loved so much, her other hand remaining clasped between Emma’s freezing palms. “If there was another way,” she breathed out, still looking at Henry even as dark eyes filled with tears, even as her heart continued to break apart, “I would have found it,” she looked at Emma then, “I would do anything to keep you both but,” and her lip quivered then as the goodbye began to crawl it’s way through her body, “I have to let you go.”_

_A tortured sound escaped from the blonde’s throat as her eyes closed, the sight of Henry barrelling into Regina, his salted tears dampening the grey of her thick coat, her whole face creasing with the strain of her emotions as she clung onto her son, whispering desperate words of love and goodbye._

_“I’m sorry baby,” she whispered into his hair, “I’m so, so sorry Henry.”_

_His body shook as he clung on tighter, his face moving so the side rested against Regina’s chest, his words ringing out throughout the space they were in, many behind clutching at their own loved ones as they watched the heart wrenching goodbye, “but I just got you both,” he whimpered as Regina’s strong arms tightened in order to keep him standing upright, “I just got my family…”_

_She swallowed hard once, twice…a third time before she felt able to actually speak, “you’ll still have Emma”_

_His head was shaking, burrowing further into her as he continued to sob, fingers scrabbling at her back, “but I won’t have you.”_

_“I’ll always be with you Henry,” she whispered into his hair as her sorrow began to take over, her stomach clenching with each withheld cry, each sob clawed back into her gut as she fought to remain strong. “Always…”_

_It was after a few more moments of holding each other, of breathing each other in, Regina needing to savour his warmth against her own, to remember just how he smelled, how he felt in her arms for it was sure to be the last time, that she encouraged him to say goodbye to the others, to his grandparents, to his father and to the only people he had ever known save for the woman she was now facing._

_“Emma-” but her words were cut short as she was pulled into the woman, desperate hands clutching the side of her face as their lips began moving, kneading in each other’s in a dance so familiar to them both. Their breaths were heavy, shuddered yet they were loathe to pull apart, never wanting the moment to end. “Please,” she whimpered in a break for air though the blonde simply pulled her back in, one hand trailing around her face to the back of her neck as Emma tilted her head in order to deepen their kiss, “don’t make this any harder.”_

_“How could it be any harder Regina?” the blonde asked, her voice watery as she leaned her forehead against the older woman’s, her eyes scrunching shut as she tried in vain to fill her lungs, each inhale as painful as the last, her hands gripping at the brunette’s shoulders as she tried to hold on to the last vestiges of her sanity. “How am I supposed to live without you there? How am I supposed to carry on knowing I’m never going to see you again?” she cried, feeling Regina’s own tears trailing her face as they both leaned heavily into one another, “that I’ll never get to wake up beside you again?” her voice was softer now though her distress was no less, “that I’ll never get to hold you? Or kiss you?” she dropped her face a little to connect their lips in a wet embrace, her breath puffing against the older woman’s face in a broken sob._

_“Because,” the brunette whimpered as she pulled back to look at her love, her palms encasing Emma’s cheeks, her thumbs wiping away tears that were simply replaced with more as emerald eyes opened, pleading and broken, “you’ll know no different my love.” her smile was strained, full of despair as her head tilted slightly, “you won’t remember me.”_

_She pulled Regina into her once more with one arm around her back and another around her shoulders, a hand tucking the brunette’s head into the crook of her shoulder, a teary face pressed into her neck as she whispered softly “how could I ever forget you?”_

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So…” the blonde began, her back against the back wall, slightly arched due to the radiator currently warming her behind, her fingers tapping lightly against the rusting metal “how’ve you been?” It was a ridiculous question, one she certainly did not need to ask for she could see the answer herself, could see the pain still so present in chocolate eyes she hadn’t known how much she’d missed until now, until she found herself falling into them as she often had in the past.

Regina rocked on her heels slightly, her hair falling to cover her face as she dropped her gaze to the ground. “I’ve been okay…” she breathed out, still completely overwhelmed at the presence of both the woman stood only feet away from her and the son sitting so casually in the diner he had known since his first years on earth, the place he looked at with unknowing eyes, eyes that new nothing of her. “Yourself?”

Emma’s head tilted to the right as she studied the brunette, watched the way her throat bobbed as she swallowed hard, saw the hand that came up to rest over her stomach, a tell Emma knew too well to pass it off as a simple habit. “You’re hurting.”

Regina’s lips parted softly, mouth moving wordlessly as though to deny the blonde’s statement but with the hard look in green eyes, the pleading for honesty, she simply closed it along with her eyes, brow furrowing as she inhaled deeply needing to reign in her emotions before she broke.

“I missed you…”

“No you didn’t,” and much to Emma’s surprise and relief, the woman before her laughed, dark eyes still clouded with a film of unshed tears though her smile was genuine, her laughter soft but short as she looked at Emma under her lashes, “but I missed you, every single day."

\-----------------------------------------

_"He's cute," Snow commented, her voice filled with a smile as she fell in stride beside her former step-mother, the woman sending nothing more than a sharp glance her way before looking forward once more, nostrils flared, a brooding silence filling the air before them, nothing like the banter being tossed around by the men behind, those familiar to them and those new, one man in particular being the subject of their one-sided conversation._   
_"You need to-"_

_"No," Regina cut her off with a firm voice, quiet yet deadly, the type of threat she was known to give when rage bubbled within her, Snow knew it well. "I do not need to do anything, dear" she practically sneered, "it is you that needs to accept what you cannot change." Her steps were furious though she made no move to walk ahead, her booted feet falling heavier in the hopes of expelling some of her frustration in some way. "We fell in love, honest and true love Snow and I...I can't betray her like that, no matter how 'cute' you believe the man to be."_

_The younger woman's brow furrowed as she inhaled in thought, her head turning to find her husband in deep conversation with the leader of the merry men, his blue eyes alight with excitement at his new companion before she was turning back to look at the, seemingly, never-ending trail before them. "We cannot return Regina, you know that as well as I" she attempted to reason, unsure of why she was so set on finding the woman's happiness when she cared for none but herself. "Are you saying you will be content spending the rest of your life in complete loneliness? Wouldn't they want you to-"_

_"Do not even begin to tell me what they would want," she bit out, still not daring to look at the woman for fear of ripping the damn girl's skin from her skull, "you didn't know them as I did, you know not of what they would want for me."_

_"I know they'd wish happiness for you," she spoke softly, unafraid of Regina's wrath, knowing violence was something not prone to the woman now, not with how she had tried and continued to try for her son, even in his absence. "I know that much."_

_"You know nothing, Snow White."_  
\----------------------------------------

"She was annoyingly persistent," Regina droned as they moved closed to the waters edge, her hand swinging gently beside her despite the itch to link it with Emma's whose skin brushed deliciously against her own on every other stride, "would not take no for an answer."

The blonde laughed at the irritated amusement of the woman's tone, just basking in her presence now that she was aware of her existence, aware of the reason for the underlying sadness she had felt that past year, the emptiness that would often take a hold during the quiet moments in her room, days when work was slow and Henry was in school. She now knew the reason why, for the reason was dropping gracefully onto the bench she had moved to sit upon. "So, did you?"

"Hmm?" Regina asked, her eyes catching Emma's as she turned away from the rippling lake she had been focused on, the fresh air carrying hints of vanilla on it as dark strands were blown gently around her face.

Emma, for her part, tried to keep the jealousy from her features, the thought of Regina with someone else, kissing someone else, being touched by someone else had her burning inside, sickness creeping within her. "You know," she sounded uncomfortable as she waited for Regina to put her out of her misery, to elaborate on the question she hoped she wouldn‘t have to ask, that much was at least obvious to even herself as she ducked her head down in embarrassment though kept her eyes on Regina's face, sensing amusement creeping onto her lovely face.

"Are you asking if I slept with him?" her eyebrow was raising in a way that had Emma groaning in humoured irritation at the smirk colouring the brunette's face, she was playing with her, goading her. Blonde curls slid across her jacket as she shook her head slowly from side to side, her hands clasped before her on her knees. "Would it matter if I had?"

Instantly her mouth opened, instantly a jealous rage burned through her and instantly her jaw clenched as she bit out a tense "of course not." Though it was clear that no matter the intention behind it, the thought still hurt.

"Because I didn't," Regina finally gave after a long pause, a torturous pause that had Emma's knee bouncing, her face hardening. "I couldn't..."

"But you..."

"I was lonely Emma," all traces of humour had disappeared from her tone then as dark eyes moved to look back out over the water, the blonde's having her feeling shamed at the knowledge that she almost had..."I was lonely, I was sad and he was attentive. He listened to me and he cared for me despite my bitterness, despite the horrible words I threw at him…he remained a constant and that was something I wasn‘t used to…something I wasn‘t prepared for Emma…no one ever stays."

"Regina," she spoke softly, her hand moving over to lay upon the brunette's coat covered arm, her grip light as her thumb moved over the material, watching as Regina's eyes closed at the feeling, aching to hold the woman yet knowing better than to do so at this stage, there was still so much to discuss. "I don't blame you for seeking love, not when you believed you would never see me again," she soothed, her own brow furrowing as she watched the first tear fall, "just as I wouldn't blame you if you had slept with him."

"I couldn't Emma," her response was instantaneous, her words pleading for the blonde to understand, to forgive a betrayal that hadn't happened, "my heart belongs to and will always belong to only one." She opened her eyes then, bright green receptive and hopeful, "you."

\------------------------------------------

_"M'lady?"_

_"Please," she breathed out in frustration, she had moved away from the group only moments before, despite the open windows and air flowing within the ballroom, she had needed to get out. Her fingers gripped tighter around the stone balcony as he remained, unmoving. "Please allow me just a few minutes of silence Locksley."_

_"I won't disturb you any further," he gave back softly, "but I won't leave you either,” he continued much to her rising ire, “not in your time of distress.”_

_“And what do you know of my distress, thief?” she practically spat as she spun around to face him, the long tails of her elaborate red velvet coat whipping at her leather clad legs as she stared the outlaw door, her lips curling back into a snarl many knew to back down from, yet he didn’t, he merely smiled that irritatingly kind smile that had her fighting to remain furious with one who showed so much care._

_His eyes grew sad as he watched her, watched the movements of her face as she fought to keep herself together even when she wanted nothing more than to fall apart, “I know nothing of it’s origins my Queen,” he explained, his voice remaining calm and compassionate, “I only know that I hate to see such pain in such lovely eyes.”_

_She froze at that, at the honesty she could detect in his voice. She had noticed his lingering glances over their time since meeting. The way he would sometimes go out of his way to pick a fight with her and the smirk he would throw her way in victory when Snow and Charming would inevitably have to intervene. She had also noticed his eyes seeking her out should he ever enter a room, the disappointment floating in vibrant blue when he couldn’t find her straightaway, the strange relief when he would finally spot her lingering somewhere far away in the room._   
_“What has you so enamoured with me?”_

_Her question has him silent for a moment as his mouth opens wordlessly, she was known for her honesty and bluntness but that he had not been expecting. “I…I’m sorry?”_

_She laughs, actually laughs at the way she has him flustered, the faint red blush creeping over the skin of his exposed neck, the hard swallow he takes as he waits for her to continue, to elaborate. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed, dear.” she drawls as she moves closer, the need to scare him off, to have him leave her presence becoming a priority in her mind and so she turns to her best tactic, seduction._

_“I…” he begins, distracted by the way she circles him, like a predator playing with it’s prey, her finger tracing a circle around his stomach and to his back as she moves, “I’m sure I have no idea of what you talk of, Your Majesty.”_

_And there it is again, that laughter, malicious somewhat as it rings through the air around them, cuts over the sound of the music inside. “So you don’t want me?” she whispers finally as she comes to a stop in front of him, mere inches away from his face, her hot breath tickling at his skin as she trails her eyes ever so slowly over his features. He gasped as a hand came daringly close to his crotch, fingers playing atop the clothing covering his abdomen. “You don’t want this?”_

_“Who was he?”_

_Her grin all but faded at that, his voice betraying that she had at least gotten him a little worked up but, all the same her hand dropped away from it’s place on his stomach as she stepped back. Dark eyes flickering with each emotion, beginning with anger and ending with pure sorrow at his assumption, “do not deign to believe you know me, good sir.” she bit out the last two words before turning back to face the Kingdom she had once ruled, the land she had felt trapped by and the sights she had longed to escape into without a trace._

_“I meant no offence, majesty” he began, keeping his distance for he could see the rigidity of her spine, the white knuckles of hands gripping at the stone of the balcony almost painfully, “you need not push me away though. for I mean you no harm. ”_

_“Yet here you still stand, encroaching on moments that should be only mine, seeing things that none but me should see.” she breathed out as a tear fell to splash against the back of her hand, her head bowing as his words dug deeper into the despair of her soul, images of Emma and Henry pulled to the forefront of her mind once more, “I am not some pet,” she turned her head only the slightest of inches, her eyes opening as she spared a quick glance to him in her peripheral, “some poor creature waiting to be fixed,” she continued even as her throat grew thick with emotion, “I am twisted, I am broken and I am done…” her voice broke on the last word, her head shaking as her eyes closed, more tears falling to stain her face, “I am done.”_

_“On the contrary, m’lady” he spoke gently as he moved only a little closer, glad when she accepted the touch of his hand to her back, sagging into it almost, “I believe you have only just begun.”_

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I honestly do believe he saved me Emma,” she smiled warmly at the thought of Robin, the only person who’d been able to get through to her that past year, “he became a good friend and confidante, someone I could rely on, someone I could turn to when…when it all got too much.” Regina’s smile grew gentle as Emma finally moved her hand down her forearm in order to take her hand, their fingers instantly intertwining as the brunette took the support and the comfort she had sought since she had broken her own curse, had watched the two she loved most driving away to start a life in which she had no place. “Of course, things got a little rocky when he caught me trying to bury my heart in the forest but-”

“You-” Emma gasped, her hand pulling away from Regina with her shocked movement though her fingers only tightened their grip, “you tried to bury your heart?!”

“Tried being the operative word dear,” she tried, hoping to make light of the situation, seeing the hurt in green eyes at the thought of what she had done, “he stopped me…Robin and your mother.”

The blonde moved in closer then, tears glistening in her eyes as she looked down to Regina’s chest, her hand raising of it’s own accord, closing the distance before she glanced up to gain the brunette’s permission. A small nod and a gentle smile allowed her to move aside the unbuttoned pea coat, slip under the thick scarf that hung down around the woman’s neck and over her chest and place her hand just above the fleshy mound of her left breast, a soft sigh escaping her lips as she felt the steady rhythm of Regina’s strong heart.

The brunette inhales deeply at the feeling of the cold fingers seeping through her thin blouse, the first true touch she’d received from the younger woman since before they’d said goodbye, since the night of their return from Neverland, their son safely sleeping in his own bed whilst they celebrated in the only way they knew how…by revelling in the closeness of their bodies, savouring the slow kisses, painting their curves across one another and making love long into the night until their sated bodies could take nothing more.

“Where do we go from here?” Emma asked, their foreheads having fallen together as they became lost in the intimacy of their positions, the blonde’s hand still resting between them, her golden strands moved by the exhalation of hot breath from Regina.

“I don’t know,” the brunette breathed quietly, fingers finding the denim of Emma’s jeans, scratching lightly at the material as she attempted to make sense of the moment, of what this all meant. “But…I know I still love you…”

“I love you too Regina,” the blonde returned the statement easily, the words like butter slipping from her tongue as she continued to breathe the older woman in, “I love you too.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Banditry?!” Regina scoffed as they walked slowly back through the park, the icy winds doing nothing to break the warmth she felt at having Emma’s hand holding her own, their shoulders brushing as they periodically nudged into each other, smiling at the contact like crushing schoolgirls. “That’s what she told him?”

“It’s not that far from the truth,” Emma gave back, laughing, revelling in the ease at which they had been able to fall back into each other. They hadn’t shared a kiss yet but, with all the emotions that had been flying around since running into one another that morning, it hadn’t felt right just yet and both were content with that, for now.

“Aside from the fact that I never actually caught her dear,” the brunette pointed out, watching as a few of the lost boys they had rescued the year previous began skimming stones across the lake, the nearby nuns watching over them, no doubt waiting for one of them to fall out of line. She watched the way in which one of the older boys helped one of the youngest, frustration evident on the small child’s face when his stone merely sunk beneath the water, envy plain on his face as others glided across it. His tiny hands, his little tantrum, it was all so Henry…”do you think he’ll ever remember?”

Emma’s smile grew sad as she followed Regina’s gaze, her hand pulling away momentarily as she moved to stand behind the woman, strong arms pulling her backwards, asking the brunette to lean against her as Emma’s arms snaked to wrap around, her hands meeting in the front as she placed her chin upon the woman’s shoulder, a sweet kiss pressed against her jaw. “I honestly do, yes.”

“I miss my son Emma,” her words had grown thick as she fought back the sorrow that had consumed her everyday for the past 12 months, the waves of despair that she had barely managed to surface from continuing their assault, still attempting to pull her under, many times she had almost allowed them to…almost let go and drowned within them but here, in the arms of her love, she could finally see why she had kept holding on, could finally begin to be thankful for her decision. “I miss my baby…”

“I know Regina,” she breathed as she swayed them soothingly from side to side, noticing long lashes fluttering down to rest against the skin of Regina’s cheeks as dark eyes closed, her arms tightening around the woman’s slim frame, “but you won’t have to for long.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I’ll see you soon?” she asks as the blonde places another kiss to her cheek, mindful of her still healing heart, knowing such a thing could easily break as well as make her.

Emma smiles warmly at the way in which Regina’s head ducks after her question, knowing the woman’s insecurities had overtaken her pride in that moment, something she knew only happened when she or Henry was concerned and something she found so heart wrenchingly endearing. “Sooner,” she whispered into the woman’s ear after pulling her into a tight hug in front of her mansion, the place still looking exactly the same as it had before…exactly like home.

“It feels strange,” Regina began, playing with Emma’s fingers when the blonde remained standing before her, loathe to leave, “you not being here with me, holding me at night” she smirked a little, mischief dancing in her eyes, “hogging the covers at night.”

The younger woman’s mouth instantly dropped open in feigned offence as she pulled back from Regina, their arms stretched out between them as neither let go of the other’s hands. To hear the woman’s laughter, so loud now as she let her walls fall away, at least for the moment, was something Emma never knew she needed. “I only steal them to give you an excuse to cuddle up to me,” she gave back, a playful grin on her own face as Regina’s laughter continued, her eyebrows raising in an expression that read oh do you now? “For body heat of course”

The former mayor laughed once more before pulling the blonde back closer, inhaling the scent she wished she could bottle for moments like this, when the woman had to leave her. “I need you for much more than body heat Emma Swan,” she breathed hotly before leaning down to pepper kisses along the skin of the blonde’s neck, fingers tickling as she swept golden locks out of her way, revelling in the rumbling moan she felt beneath her lips.

“What are you doing to me woman?” Emma got out as she closed her eyes, falling into the sensations running throughout her body.

Regina hummed a low laugh before placing one last wet kiss to the woman’s neck, “loving you.”

The sheer strength of adoration she felt as vulnerable dark eyes were revealed to her once she opened her own, was breathtaking. The love bubbling through her would have almost been fear inducing had she not seen the same emotion reflected back at her from the woman she loved with her whole heart. Her hand moved up slowly, palm trailing up over a slender neck to cup the brunette’s jaw, her thumb stroking at the soft skin of Regina’s cheek as she looked between chocolate orbs, down over a small, defined nose and finally to full lips parted in anticipation of what they both knew to be coming.   
“Can I?”

“Please do”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She watched with rapt interest as the blonde closed the distance between the two, sickened at the way in which she had moved her other hand up to stroke back dark locks from her sister’s face, seething at the way in which Emma pulled Regina closer, their bodies touching.

Zelena had known of her sister’s son, the boy, for her most trusted of creatures had confided in her having spent so long as a living human, the Saviour’s, almost, fiancé. It had all been too delicious, up until that damn pirate had shown up and ruined it but now…to find the same woman stood on Regina’s pathway, holding her, comforting her, kissing her…well it was almost too good to be true.

“Now, now ‘Walshy’” she laughed at the hiss of irritation her winged henchman gave at the use of his alias, soothing his anger with a soft hand none but him know, “we need to let them believe they are safe,” she drawled as she turned to watch the women still embracing with a barely concealed snarl, “we need to allow her to feel content with Emma’s return,” she continued, watching as they pulled apart, sickly sweet smiles on their faces as the blonde stroked at Regina’s face, placing a gentle kiss to her nose that had her sister laughing softly, nuzzling into the Saviour’s embrace, “and then,” her snarl turned malicious, a grin twitching at the corner of her lips, “then, we rip their world apart.” 


End file.
